The Hogwarts School Charter
by ex-LongLongHair
Summary: My mum tells me to clean up the attic and looky here-a draft copy of the Hogwarts School Charter. Lucky it's only a draft, some really perverted director on the board must've written this. PG13 because of that. R/R or you will face disembowellment at the


# A/N: Hello there! This is the lovely Hogwarts School Charter as it says below. While cleaning up the attic in our laptops, we found this school charter. So here we are, posting it for the world to see what really goes on behind the closed doors of the board of directors (Does Lucius have _anything_ to do with the perverted rules and regulations in this version? We've always thought something was a little strange about that man…) Ah well, we'll tell you more about this once you've finished reading it…

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# Hogwarts School Charter-Years 1994-1996

Give a girl a fish, she eats for a day. Teach her how to fish, and she eats for a lifetime.

_Give a man a fire, he stays warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he stays warm for a lifetime._

# Mission Statement

Hogwarts aims to be a nourishing environment for young witches and wizards, to encourage them to perform at the best of their abilities, and to improve their standard, and enable them to become fine, upstanding citizens in the magical community.

# School Rules

School rules are as follows:

No fighting

No swearing

No magic in the corridors

No eating in class unless previous permission has been given

No talking in class

No asking for help in class

No homework to be done in class

No cheating

Forbidden forest is out of bounds

No hanky panky with members of the opposite sex

No spanking with hairbrushes

Boys are not allowed to go into the girls' toilets; however girls are allowed to go into the boys' toilets

No visits to the dormitories of the opposite sex without adult supervision, adult meaning over 15

No wandering around in pyjamas or lingerie in the middle of the night-dressing gowns must be worn at all times.

No bullying or bastardisation in the corridors.

No Playwizard or Playwitch magazines in the Quidditch changerooms.

No spiders in dormitories

No sleeping in other people's beds

No wizardgotchas

No visible makeup on visible parts of the body

No purple nailpolish

No jars of blue fire

No consorting with the enemy

No overnight stays in Hogsmeade

No large, rabid pet dogs

If a student is found disobeying the rules, points will be taken off from their house. If, after points have been deducted, the student persists in disobeying the rules, they will get a detention. Should they not heed the rules after a detention, expulsion will be imminent. If the ex-student still continues to misbehave, an immediate disembowelment will take place.

# Cultural Exchanges

Hogwarts will take in at least one exchange student from a foreign country during the course of the school year. The students privileged to come to Hogwarts on exchange will be at their utmost best behaviour during their stay. Any connections with the Dark Lord will be overlooked.

Newcomers from other countries will be welcomed as with all students; they will be sorted by the Sorting Hat and will be treated the same as any other Hogwarts student.

# The School Curriculum

Hogwarts will incorporate a certain amount of foreign culture into the daily routine-Hallowe'en trick-or-treating, Thanksgiving Day, French patisserie as an elective, other subjects such as Australian history will also be given if there is enough interest.

One Outdoor Bewareness Camp will be given per year. Students will have to attend at least one out of every two, otherwise they will be called up in front of the Headmaster. The purpose of the Outdoor Bewareness Camp is to foster bewareness about the dangers of the Great Outdoors. The course will involve counter-charms, basic and advanced survival skills, and the erection of a suitable camp. There will also be a short lecture on the beasts and creatures living in the Great Outdoors.

The dark lord himself, or one of his minions must visit Hogwarts each year, to provide extra tutelage in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Subjects from past years will have to be carried over; once a student has started a subject, he or she cannot quit it unless given special permission by their head of house. Electives will be offered from Year 3 upwards, and are as follows:

Divination

Arithmancy

Care of Magical Creatures

Muggle Studies

Australian History

Australian Hemisphere Geography

French Patisserie

Latin

Maths

English

Electronics

Broom making

Horology

Core subjects are as follows:

Potions

Transfiguration

Herbology

Astronomy

Magical History

Defence Against the Dark Arts

Home Economics (Sport, Cooking and Health)

In accordance with the new legislature that all schools must have a Performing Arts program, there will be a Music and Drama festival held each year. All students will have to participate in some form.

With the non-discrimination and gender equity acts now effective, Hogwarts is required to have more sports, with more people involved. As well as Quidditch, Chess, Duelling, Air Hockey, Skydiving, Gymnastics, Coal Hauling, Stretcher Bearing, Competitive Broom Racing, Athletics and Dragon/Hippogriff Rodeo will be offered. Students will have to participate in at least one sport per year. All team games will have mixed teams, with an even amount of each gender on a team.

# School Uniform

All students are required to wear full-length, black (not grey) robes and a black pointed hat as their uniform.

All male students are required to wear leather pants, and carry a canoe in their pocket underneath their regulation school robes. All female students are required to wear a leather bustier and carry a sharp dagger underneath their regulation school robes.

Chimney sweeps are not allowed to have unreasonably large brooms.

No robes bearing slogans or unsuitable remarks are allowed.

There will be a twice-daily inspection of robes and what students are wearing under them.

Hair accessories of black are allowed; other colours may be confiscated and kept in a named envelope to be given back at the end of term.

Every student must wear a sterling silver cross. Only jewellery made of sterling silver or higher quality silver may be worn. Any other kind of jewellery will be seized.

# Motto, Anthem & Oath

Hogwarts' motto is Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus, which means Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon. Students are not allowed to keep dragons as pets, as they are illegal in the British Isles.

Hogwarts' anthem is as follows. No theme song applies

Hogwarts, Hogwarts, hoggy warty Hogwarts,

Teach us something please,

whether we be old an bald,

Or young with scabby knees.

Our heads could do with filling,

With some interesting stuff,

For now they're bare and full of air,

Dead flies and bits of fluff.

So teach us things worth knowing,

Bring back what we've forgot,

Just do your best,

We'll do the rest

And learn until our brains all rot.

Hogwarts does not have any official oath, only that we ask students to not use magic outside school. The underage wizards' act stipulates that magic may not be used outside school property.

A/N: And that's where it ends. Yep. No more. No less, either. Unfortunately we cannot claim all the credit for writing this, we think some dastardly devilish director of the board had a hand in this as well. It might have been "We the fair ladies of reading", who keep on "Please to merge?" ing us. Any other applications for mergers may be made, please email us at [bookworms_anon@hotmail.com][1], or you can review and put your proposal in the correct form to us there. We will be watching you. If you do not review, we will know. And you will not escape the clutches of the worm. MWAHAHAHAH!!!! So go and review. We may not be able to bite, but boy, can we give you a nasty suck!\/

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Oops. Pencilmort must've been at large again. Now go review before Pencilmort and the worm comes back. J

   [1]: mailto:bookworms_anon@hotmail.com



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